BAN THE HOG FROM MAUI

I was walking on the sidewalk outside Starbucks at the Queen Kaahumanu Mall when I heard a Harley-Davidson motorcycle approaching from behind and slowly going by. I did what I always do when a Hog is nearby: I plugged my ears with my fingers. I never looked at the biker but just kept walking.

The rider took great offense at this. He stopped at the stop sign, now about 50 feet ahead of me, and turned back to give me a murderous stare as he revved his engine to a painfully loud level. Then he flipped me the middle finger, showing off his I.Q., and roared off.

Some version of this incident happens quite often, which shows that most of these guys are like three-year-old brats banging on pots and pans to get attention. But they are also thugs and bullies who are capable of reacting with rage if you don’t admire them and their noisy, smelly machines. I would wager that a high percentage of them are genuine psychopaths, that is, antisocial personality types who care nothing for the rights of others.

Hogs are not primarily modes of transportation. They are big, expensive toys used mostly to show off. Why else would the riders so often move in gangs, roar through towns on their way to nowhere, and always make as much noise as they can? Why else would they roar into quiet nature reserves like Iao Valley where people go to enjoy the quiet?  Why else would they give stink eye to pedestrians who plug their ears, and their infants’ ears, as they go by? (Infants can suffer permanent hearing loss from repeated close exposure to loud Hogs.)

There is no technical justification for motorcycles to be as loud as Hogs. Modern cars with far more power are 5 percent as loud. There are plenty of fast motorcycles that make very little noise. And powerful electric cars and motorcycles make almost no noise. Hogs are loud by design. The company has even patented the sound of its bikes, as if it’s a good thing. Ken Schmidt, a Hog executive, calls Harley noise “The Voice of God” and said to dealers, “Noise is good; noise is the foundation of your business.”

We are exposed to so much noise that many of us suffer serious hearing loss fairly early in life. The excessive noise also causes stress that can contribute to health problems such as anxiety and hypertension. Of course, some loud noises are unavoidable, such as those from buses and big cargo trucks. Exposure to others, such as loud music, is mostly voluntary and for the enjoyment of the listener. But we should not be forced to hear completely unnecessary noise that we hate and that interferes with our normal activities. 

Hogs are especially irritating at night when we are conversing with family and friends, doing homework, watching TV, listening to music, meditating or sleeping. A single Hog speeding (they usually speed) through a quiet neighborhood creates a wide swath of deafening noise for blocks on either side and interrupts the normal activities of hundreds of people. 

Why do we put up with this? Why do we give Hog riders an exemption from the usual standards of civilized behavior? Part of the answer is political intimidation. Whenever a bill is introduced in a state or county legislature to enforce EPA noise limits all hell breaks loose. The bike dealers and their gangs of customers make a racket even worse than that of their Hogs.

The EPA noise limit for motorcycles is 82 decibels and most Hogs are (barely) in compliance when they leave the factory. However, Harley sells modified mufflers into the aftermarket that are more than ten times as loud, and many, perhaps most, Hog riders buy them. A heavy jackhammer generates about 105 decibels and the illegally modified Hogs are often louder than that. The decibel scale is logarithmic, so 105 decibels is many times as loud as 82 decibels.

Now we have news that Harley-Davidson has been doing a VW. That is, the company has been selling mufflers in the aftermarket that not only make more noise but also cause far more air pollution than allowed by EPA rules. So Hogs imposes both illegal noise and illegal hydrocarbon poisons on the entire population. What more proof do we need that the company itself is psychopathic?

Some mainland communities are so besieged by noise from Hog gangs that tourism has decreased significantly, affecting the incomes of thousands of residents. But opponents are fighting back. If you want to join them, check out NoiseOff.org and Noise Free America.

Meanwhile, if you are brave and want to show these thugs how you feel about their polluting ways, turn you back on them as they roar by and ostentatiously plug your ears. 


Links to all my blogs: www.KurtButlerBlogs.blogspot.com.


For more detailed critiques of various forms of quackery, including naturopathy, see my book A Consumer’s Guide to “Alternative Medicine”.  It was expertly edited by legendary quack buster Stephen Barrett. MD. When the book was published almost 30 years ago it was strongly praised by responsible health experts and the rare responsible media, but trashed by new-age critics and even vandalized in bookstores by new-age fanatics. It is as true and relevant as ever, and has been mostly vindicated by time. Yet my courageous and far-sighted publisher, the venerable Prometheus Books, is still sitting on lots of copies. Please help validate their integrity by buying a copy. Or two or more as gifts. Perhaps 10 for your local school library and health classes. See their website for assorted discounts. Make them an offer. (My royalties are insignificant; this little promo is for the benefit of one of the world's great publishers, Prometheus Books.) 

Maui's future foretold: Barbarians In Paradise -- Terror Comes to Maui. This is a prophetic flash novel about a future police state and those who rebel against it. Available in paperback and ebook at Amazon.com.